When Aleen Zimberoff Bayard, 40, began planning her wedding to Brent Greenberg, 52, she very much wanted the ceremony and whole event to be a reflection of who they were as a couple and as individuals, and to express their values and commitments in life. Aleen had just recently lost her mom, Dorothy Zimberoff, 62, to pancreatic cancer, and wanted to honor her mother’s memory during such an important benchmark in her life.
Since this was her second marriage and his third, Aleen and Brent decided to ask for charitable donations in lieu of gifts. The bride, who owns a marketing and public relations consulting firm, and the groom, a radiologist, chose three causes, and included an insert with the information in their wedding invitations. In addition to our Foundation, they also selected the Evans Scholars Fund, which gives college tuition to golf caddies (Brent sits on the Board of Directors of the Western Golf Association), and The Hunger Project, a global organization dedicated to ending world hunger.
The newlyweds feel very positive about their decision, for a variety of reasons. Aleen explains, “We didn’t know how much people gave, so it kept a lot of privacy in each guest’s ‘purchase.’ And, instead of getting linens and toasters, we’re actually making a difference in the world.” Aleen also found the idea to be educational. “People now know that very specific research projects, such as those funded by the Hirshberg Foundation, exist for specific types of cancer. Rather than simply supporting agencies such as the American Cancer Society, we were able to directly support pancreatic cancer research.”
Aleen’s mom was “extremely healthy” prior to her disease, which was first incorrectly diagnosed as pancreatitis. Aleen reflects, “My mom had the most incredible attitude. She never complained.” Even when she had a permanent needle inserted into her clavicle and she underwent chemotherapy around the clock, Dorothy found a way to see the side of the positive side of things. “The pump system weighed about five pounds and she had to wear it constantly. She nicknamed the pump ‘Hymie’ after the Hebrew word ‘L’Chaim,’ which means ‘To Life.’”
In the end, the couple has no idea how much was raised for their charities, but they do know that Dorothy was “with them” on their wedding day. Aleen explains, “It really helped me bring my mom’s presence into the space in a very respectful and loving way. I felt the loss, definitely, but rather than dwelling on having her missing from my side, I was able to feel better knowing that we were helping others in her condition. Maybe other daughters in the future will not lose their parents to this disease.”
Editor’s note: To date, the Ronald S. Hirshberg Memorial Foundation has received over $7,000 from guests of Aleen and Brent’s wedding, all of which has gone to support pancreatic cancer research at UCLA. Furthermore, Aleen, a public speaker, has also begun asking clients and associates to make a contribution to the Foundation in lieu of a speaker’s fee.
